BEING HUMAN
The Realities and the Possibilites

A major part of my life over the past fifteen years has been researching and writing this book.  I am delighted to announce that I have now completed it and am at the stage of soliciting feedback on the manuscript.   A portion of the book dealing with healing and growth is currently available to my clients and others who request it. The book is intended to be of interest both to professions and to laypeople concerned with what it means to be human, and how to facilitate our own growth and the growth of others. 
From the Fore-words:
This is a book about the human condition. It addresses the core issues of what it means to be human. I have written this book because I believe that the best chance we have at living more genuinely fulfilling lives is to have clarity about what we really want and how we are most likely to find it.
This book covers wide-ranging terrain, from theoretical physics to childhood trauma, from DNA to enlightenment. It is not, however, merely a collection of interesting topics and each is, I believe, valuable in understanding what matters most about being human. The strength of this book is both in the broad perspective it offers and the cohesion amongst the diverse areas. I believe it offers a deeply integrated perspective that converges on a central theme or message about what it means to be human.

Below is the table of contents, giving a sense of the nature of this project.

FORE-WORDS 9

1. SCIENCE, WISDOM, & THE NATURE OF REALITY 12
Science!? 14
The Construction of Reality 24
Belief and Experience 26
Our Misleading Memories 31
Regarding Relationships 34
Reality As You Like It 38
Group Reality 41
Overconfidence and Arrogance 44
Conclusions 46
Science, Evidence, and Reality 47
Determinism, Will, and God 62
Matter, Energy, and Relationship 74
Explanation, Reductionism, and the Whole 85
Wisdom and the Transformation of Experience 93
Conclusions 104

2. BODY, MIND & SPIRIT 108
The Mind's Brain 109
The Mind-Brain Relationship 113
Minds, Brains, and Mental Health 117
The Spiritual Brain 120
Mind, Body, and Disease 122
Building a Human Being 133
Evolution by Natural Selection of Genes 134
Genes and General Human Characteristics 137
Nature, Nurture, and Human Variety 139
Conclusions 149

3. HEALTH, ENERGY, & LOVE 150
Health and Disease 150
Genuine Health 156
Characteristics of Healthy People 162
Responsiveness 168
Presence 171
Following Desires 171
Self-acceptance 176
Freedom from Fear 180
Faith, Effort and Will 182
Responsibility 184
Love, Empathy, and Compassion 186
Boundaries, Assertiveness, Intimacy 191
Seeing Beauty and Humour 193
Spiritual Health 194
Conclusions 197

4. TRAUMA, DEFENSES, & DISEASE 199
Traumatic Stress 200
Trauma's Legacy 205
Why trauma endures 206
What we can't remember can still hurt us 209
Why is trauma in infancy and early childhood so potent? 211
Facing the Reality of Childhood Trauma 214
Sensitivity and Awareness in Infants 216
General awareness 217
Pain sensititvity 218
Learning and memory 219
What Traumatizes Infants and Children 221
Parents, Trauma, and Attachment 228
Patterns of parenting & patterns of attachment 236
Set for life: The persistence of our attachment patterns 239
The Trauma of Birth 243
Trauma and the Human Condition 255
The "Stop" Feelings: Fear, Shame, and Pain 258
Flashbacks & Intrusion: Colouring My World 260
Avoiding: Defenses Against Feeling 265
Here I Am Again - Trauma Repetition 287
Early Trauma and Later Physical Disease 295
Early Trauma and Mental Disorders 299
Conclusions and Reflections 308

5. HEALING & GROWTH 312
Healthy Parenting 314
Becoming a Healthy Parent 317
Principles of Healthy Parenting 325
Conclusions 370
Principles and Practices for Healing and Growth 373
What has to Change 373
Evolution not Revolution 378
Description or Prescription 381
Going Up or Going In 382
There are Many Roads 384
Practice the Practices 385
Healing and Growth for Ourselves 385
Feel What You Feel 387
Cultivate Self-Compassion 395
Accepting Responsibility 408
Express Your Truth 416
Following Desires 423
Accept What Is, Grieve What Is Not 436
Courage to Tolerate Anxiety 452
Use Anger Constructively 469
Cultivate Compassion for Others 479
Nurture Your Body: Behavioural Health 490
Healing and Growth in Relationships 491
Love, Intimacy, and Communion 492
Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy! 498
Responsibility for Our Feelings 502
Love and Compassion 504
Expressing Our Truth 508
Letting it Out, Letting it In 511
Feedback: The Joys of Giving and Receiving 516
Time 518
Communication 519
Conclusions 523
Facilitating Healing and Growth with Others 523
The Task of the Healer/Therapist 523
The Talking Cure: Psychotherapy Research 524
The Health of the Healer 530
Safety 533
Corrective Relationship Experience 535
Facilitating Experiencing of Energy 538
Integrating Past Traumatic Experiences 541
Identifying and Challenging Defenses 543
Conclusion 545
Evidence, Placebos, and Healing: 545
Conclusions 552

6. SELF, SOCIETY, & THE WORLD 554
People Are Not Nice 555
Compassion and Morality 561
Perspectives on Morality 562
Genuine morality flows from compassion 563
Mismorality 566
Genuine morality includes self-compassion 575
Conclusions 575
Towards a Healthy Society 577
Improve the World?!? 578
Morality, Compassion, and Health 580
Let it Begin With Me 587
Honouring Children 590
Violence, Revenge and Punishment 596
Conclusions 599

AFTER-WORDS 602